In This Issue:

• Welcome to May! This Month We're Talking About Communication

• Monthly Devotional: Clear Communication In Marriage

• Fidelity Focus: The Truth About Loneliness In Marriage

• Upcoming Events: Updates to Faith & Fellowship Call Cadence

Communication

Welcome to May!

by Elise Park

“The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit." — Proverbs 15:4 (NIV)

Welcome to May, friends—a month that dawns with the promise of renewal, much like the hope we carry in our hearts, even when marriage feels hard. I’m so glad you’re here as we step into this season together. If your relationship has been marked by silence, tension, or words that sting, you’re not alone. This month, let’s turn our gaze to communication—a thread that can weave connection back into our marriages, guided by God’s gentle wisdom.

Words hold power. Proverbs 15:4 tells us a soothing tongue brings life, while harsh words wound. In struggling marriages, it’s easy to let frustration sharpen our speech or cause us to retreat into quiet distance. Yet Scripture offers a better way. James 1:19 calls us to be “quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry”—a simple shift that can soften a hard moment. Think of Jesus at the well in John 4, speaking to the Samaritan woman with clarity and care. He listened, asked, and offered truth that healed. What if we tried that with our husbands—pausing to hear, sharing honestly, even when it’s vulnerable?

God, who spoke creation into being, shows us communication’s purpose: to reveal, to mend, to draw near. In Matthew 7:7, Jesus says, “Ask, and it will be given to you.” In marriage, this might mean asking for what we need—time, understanding, a kind word—rather than hoping our spouse guesses. Small steps like these can crack open the door to intimacy.

So, welcome to May, a chance to let our words reflect God’s love. May He guide our tongues and hearts as we seek to rebuild, one conversation at a time.

Clear Communication In Marriage

Monthly Devotional & Journal Prompt | By Jennifer Kwiatkowski, CPC, ELI-MP, CWDS

"Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." — Colossians 4:6 (NIV)

Watch the Devotional in The ARC!

The art of communication is a gift we all long to give and receive, yet it’s also a skill that can feel elusive, especially when our hearts are heavy or our relationships feel strained. If you’ve ever found yourself wondering why words sometimes seem to miss their mark or why small misunderstandings have the potential to grow into something bigger, you’re not alone. Together, let’s turn to God’s wisdom and discover how clear, grace-filled communication can breathe new life into all our relationships, especially our marriages.

We all desire to connect deeply with our spouses, but miscommunication can quietly build walls where we long for bridges. When we don’t express our feelings, needs, or concerns with clarity, assumptions and misinterpretations slip in, creating distance. Over time, this can lead to resentment, frustration, or even a sense of being unseen—none of which reflect the unity God desires for us. But there’s hope. When we communicate effectively, we open the door to resolving differences, offering support, and nurturing intimacy. It’s not about perfection; it’s about intention. Let’s look at a few gentle, practical ways to grow closer through our words.

1. Speak with Clarity and Kindness

When your husband asks a question, offer a specific, thoughtful answer that addresses his inquiry rather than a vague reply that leaves room for confusion. A clear response—delivered with love—shows acknowledgement and respect and keeps you both on the same page. Afterward, you might ask, “Would you like to know more about why I feel this way?” This small step invites understanding yet acknowledges that your husband may feel extra information is not needed at the moment. If this is the indication, the matter can be discussed at a later time when he is more attentive or receptive.

2. Name Your Needs

So often, miscommunication begins when we assume our spouse knows what we need from a conversation. If you’re seeking a solution, a listening ear, or simply a moment of encouragement, say so at the start. Something as simple as, “I’d love for you to just listen right now,” or “I could use your help thinking this through,” sets the tone and helps him respond in a way that meets your heart.

3. Set the Stage

Not every issue requires a deep discussion, and brief target conversations are okay if both spouses are on board. At the beginning of a conversation, let your husband know what you’re hoping for—perhaps a quick check-in or a determined time to sit down together later. This gives him the chance to prepare his heart and mind, reducing the chance of unmet expectations. It’s a thoughtful way to honor each other’s time and energy.

4. Beyond “I’m Fine”

When something weighs on your soul, “I’m fine” can feel like an easy tool to avoid conversation. However, your husband likely senses when your heart is troubled—he’s not so easily fooled. Instead of pulling away when stress or disappointment mounts, try sharing a glimpse of what’s stirring within you: “I’m feeling overwhelmed because of work. I’d love to talk it through when I’m ready—could you just pray for me for now?” This honesty fosters trust and keeps the door open for connection, regardless of what is bothersome to your heart.

5. Own Your Feelings with Grace

It’s tempting to point fingers when emotions run high, but no one can “make” us feel a certain way—our thoughts about what's going on around us are what shape our perceptions and feelings. When you feel offended, try saying to your husband, “I feel hurt because I’m thinking I’m not being heard. I may or may not be correct in my perception, but I’d love your help feeling understood.” This statement invites him in as a partner, not an adversary. If you need time to process, that’s okay too: “I’m feeling upset and need a little space to sort it out. I’ll let you know how you can support me soon.”

6. God’s Heart for Our Words

Our Lord is the perfect communicator—clear, loving, and true. Think of the Ten Commandments, direct and unmistakable…or Jesus’ words in Matthew 22:37-40, when He distilled God’s law into a simple, powerful call to love. In our marriages, we’re invited to reflect this same clarity and grace. When we speak the truth and tenderly confront sin out of our love for our spouse, we honor God and each other, building a foundation of trust and unity.

A Prayer in Closing

Lord, You speak with such clarity and grace—thank You for showing us the way. Please guide us in our marriages. Help our words be kind and clear, our hearts open and honest. Teach us to listen well and to share our needs with courage. May our conversations draw us closer to each other and to You, reflecting Your love in every way. Amen.

A Moment to Reflect

Take a quiet moment this week to consider the communication style you typically use with your husband. Out of the techniques we discussed, which one feels most challenging to you right now? Maybe it’s clarifying whether you need a quick word or a deeper talk. Perhaps it’s saying, “I feel… because I’m thinking…” while sharing your heart with your spouse. If something’s weighing on you—even if it’s about your husband—be honest and let him know how he can work with you rather than against you for the sake of your marriage.

Be brave, be honest, and be loved!!

In Him,

Jennifer

The Truth About Loneliness In Marriage

Fidelity Focus | by Elise Park, PCC, CWDS, ELI-MP

The Fidelity Focus article is our take on articles, books, podcasts, and other widely available resources that a woman may encounter as she equips herself in protecting her marriage, her faith and her family.

"Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." — Colossians 3:13 (NIV)

Have you ever been surprised to realize that the uncomfortable, unwanted knot in your stomach is actually the feeling of loneliness in your marriage? It’s a quiet belief many of us hold: that if we’re walking with God and our spouse, our hearts should always feel full, connected, and seen. But here’s the truth: feelings of loneliness can visit even the most faithful marriages—and that doesn’t mean your faith or your union has failed.

Sometimes we think that bearing with and forgiving one another (Colossians 3:13) only applies to big conflicts. Yet it also speaks to the smaller, silent struggles, like the ache of feeling alone beside the one you love. The misnomer whispers that loneliness signals a lack of God’s presence or your husband’s care. But Scripture shows us otherwise. Even David, a man after God’s heart, cried out in Psalm 25:16, “Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.” Loneliness isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a human longing God understands.

If you’re feeling unseen—maybe the days are busy, the conversations short, or the closeness faded—don’t believe you must hide it to be a “good” wife. God designed marriage for companionship (Genesis 2:18), but that doesn’t mean the feeling of distance won’t creep in. It’s okay to say, “I miss you,” or “I’d love us to connect more.” That’s not failure; it’s an invitation to grow together, with God’s help.

So, release the myth that loneliness has no place in a Christian marriage. It’s alright to feel it, name it, and seek His grace to bridge the gap. You’re not alone in this—He’s near, weaving hope into every quiet moment.

If you find you're needing some support during a season on loneliness, we lovingly invite you to join our community, It's called The ARC (The Ashes Redeemed Community) and it's built just for you.

Join here if you're not yet a member.

Upcoming Events

Faith & Fellowship Calls

To accommodate busy summer schedules, Faith & Fellowship Calls will be adjusting our Faith & Fellowship Call cadence to a once per month session! We're keeping our first Tuesday of the month rotation at the 6PM Central time slot for these special sessions as a lifeline for women seeking community, encouragement, and prayer.

These friendly, casual gatherings bring together women at different stages of healing and self-discovery. Whether you're grappling with betrayal or just seeking a safe space to share your story, you're welcome here. Each call is a chance to find solace and strength among those who understand.

We believe in the power of community and how much a supportive environment can mean when navigating difficult times. Our calls with the Ashes Redeemed Community offer a place to build connections and share wisdom with your fellow sisters on this journey.

We'd be delighted to have you join us. To participate simply RSVP inside of our private community and you’ll be able to add the event and call link to your digital calendar.

Not a member yet? No worries! Women are invited to join our private (free) community to participate.

• Tuesday, May 6th, 2025 (6PM US Central)