Ashes Redeemed Newsletter | July 2025
In This Issue:
Welcome to July: Trust
Upcoming July Events: Faith & Fellowship Call (Tuesday, July 1st!)
Monthly Devotional: Born to Trust, Called to Abide
Fidelity Focus: Trust: The Bedrock of Intimacy
Ask Ashes Redeemed: "I got what I wanted, so why aren't I happy?"
Trust
Welcome to July! | by Elise Park
As we step into the warmth of July, Jennifer and I are praying for each of you—beautiful women navigating the tender spaces of marriage, healing from betrayal, or finding your footing after divorce. This month, our newsletter is a gentle reminder that you are not alone. God sees you, loves you, and is walking with you through every season.
We’re kicking off July with our Faith & Fellowship Call on Tuesday, July 1st! Join us for an evening of encouragement, prayer, and connection as we lift each other up in faith.
In our Monthly Devotional: Born to Trust, Called to Abide, we’ll explore how trusting God’s heart anchors us in His peace, even when life feels unsteady. This devotional is crafted to speak directly to your soul, offering hope and a reminder of His unchanging love.
Our Fidelity Focus,Trust: The Bedrock of Intimacy, dives into the courage it takes to rebuild trust—whether in your marriage or in your relationship with yourself and God. Expect practical wisdom and biblical truth to guide your journey.
Finally, in Ask Ashes Redeemed: "I got what I wanted, so why aren't I happy?", we’ll unpack the ache of unfulfilled expectations and discover how God meets us in those quiet, honest moments.
July is a month to rest in God’s promises, to heal, and to grow. Let’s embrace this season together, trusting that He is making all things new.
Blessings,
Elise Park
Upcoming Events
We'd be delighted to have you join us! To participate simply RSVP inside of our private community and you’ll be able to add the event and call link to your digital calendar.
Not a member yet? No worries! Women are invited to join our private (free) community to participate.
Tuesday, July 1st (6PM US Central)
Born to Trust, Called to Abide
Monthly Devotional & Journal Prompt | By Jennifer Kwiatkowski, CPC, ELI-MP, CWDS
Scripture Focus:
The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge...
-Psalm 18:2
We are born into this world with an inclination to trust. A baby instinctively trusts—trusts to be held, to be fed, to be loved. Trust is in our very wiring. But as we grow, the world begins to erode that instinct. Somewhere along the way, we all experience that pivotal moment when we realize the world is not as safe and reliable as we thought.
A parent disappoints. A friend betrays. A teacher wounds. A coach rejects. A husband strays. And in that moment, something shifts.
Our hearts begin to question the meaning behind the mistrustful event. “Was it my fault? Was it their fault? How do I make sense of this hurt?” Slowly, unconditional trust starts to erode.
God created a world that was meant to reflect His perfect love; a world that was, at the beginning, safe. Yet, God’s divine wisdom (one that is hard for a finite mind to grasp) allowed for Satan to enter this world and cause the fall, a moment that would affect every human for all time. This moment was not a failure of God’s plan. It was actually a necessary element for true love to exist.
Forcing someone to love us by our own power may sound satisfactory for a moment, but love under coercion can never be genuine or real. For love to be authentic, it must arise from a choice. And with this freedom to choose love comes the freedom to walk away.
The fall introduced sin, a nature that causes us to question whether true love is even worth the effort to choose. And now, each of us stands in the tension between our fallen condition and our original design. The result of this tension is a propensity to engage in sinful acts that harm ourselves and others, leading to feelings of mistrust and a loss of safety in relationships.
While we wait to see our heavenly Bridegroom face to face, we live surrounded by the aftermath of the fall. We are often tempted to believe that we are not safe. And when that fear sets in, we respond in self-preserving ways:
We withdraw from others, trying to protect ourselves from hurt.
We convince ourselves that we don’t need anyone—that we’re safer alone.
We avoid setting boundaries, desperate to be accepted at any cost.
We try to control our surroundings, believing that control equals safety.
But none of these reactions brings true security. True safety is found in one place only: abiding in the Holy Spirit. The Spirit of God is our guarantee—our seal—that we belong to Him and are eternally secure (Ephesians 1:13-14). The enemy cannot snatch us from the Father’s hand (John 10:28) when we choose to experience His ultimate safety. In choosing Him, we embrace perfect love—the kind that never fails, never abandons, and never lets go.
Knowing our security in Christ, we no longer have to rely on fallible people for our security. Our foundation is not earthly—it is heavenly. And when we live from this center of safety, we can walk in freedom. Even though others let us down, we know our ultimate stability is no longer in any one human but in our heavenly citizenship.
And this stability changes everything about how we approach marriage.
When we bring our deep need for safety into marriage without first anchoring that need in Christ, we often expect our spouse to fulfill a role they were never meant to carry. We demand that they meet every emotional need, fix every fear, and never fail us—an impossible task for a fellow human being.
But when we function from this center of safety and security in God, we are free to act as one who IS free in marriage:
We can love our spouse without demanding that they complete us.
We can be vulnerable, building intimacy through honesty and grace, rather than fear.
We can set healthy boundaries—not as barriers, but as ways to protect what is sacred in the relationship.
We can forgive, because our hearts are anchored in a love that is bigger than offense.
We can persevere through seasons of difficulty because our hope is not in a perfect marriage, but in a perfect Savior.
In marriage, trust will be tested. Even the healthiest marriages face moments of disappointment or miscommunication. But when both partners are abiding in Christ as their refuge, they no longer have to carry the burden of being each other’s ultimate security. They can love from a place of wholeness, not lack.
Today, take time to reflect on the fact that you were born to trust that which is trustworthy. And in Christ, you are safe to do so again—not just for your own heart, but for the flourishing of your marriage as well.
Prayer:
Lord, I confess that I often try to make myself feel safe by withdrawing, controlling, or pleasing others. Help me return to You as my refuge. Teach me to trust again—not in people, but in Your perfect love. Fill me with Your Spirit, and let that be the place I live from each day. And in my marriage, let Your love be the foundation we build everything else on. Amen.
Reflection Questions:
Where in your life have you been trying to create safety apart from Christ?
How would your marriage—or closest relationships—change if you truly believed you were secure in God’s love?
What boundary or step of faith is the Spirit inviting you to take today in your marriage?
Trust: The Bedrock of Intimacy
Fidelity Focus | by Elise Park, PCC, CWDS, ELI-MP
The Fidelity Focus article is our take on articles, books, podcasts, and other widely available resources that a woman may encounter as she equips herself in protecting her marriage, her faith and her family.
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.
—Ephesians 5:31-32 (ESV)
In marriage, intimacy is the sacred space where hearts, minds, and bodies intertwine—a gift from God that reflects the unity of Christ and His Church (Ephesians 5:31–32). Yet, this closeness hinges on trust. As Christian wives, we know that our marriage covenant is a vow before God, but when trust is shaken, intimacy falters. The truth is, our level of intimacy can only be as deep as our level of trust. Without trust, the door to true connection remains locked, leaving both spouses longing for what was meant to be.
Trust Is the Foundation of Intimacy
Trust is the assurance that your husband will honor the covenant you share—emotionally, physically, and spiritually. When trust is strong, you can be vulnerable, sharing your fears, dreams, and body without fear of betrayal. But when trust is broken—by lies, infidelity, or even smaller breaches like broken promises—intimacy suffers. The walls go up, and the heart retreats to protect itself. As Proverbs 4:23 reminds us, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” A heart wounded by distrust struggles to open again.
So, what does it mean to trust your husband? This question is key to rebuilding intimacy, especially after pain. Let’s explore what you might be trusting him for and whether those expectations align with God’s design for marriage.
What Am I Trusting My Husband For?
It’s easy to place unspoken demands on our husbands, especially when trust has been damaged. Ask yourself: What am I trusting my husband to do? Consider these possibilities:
Am I trusting him to be perfect? Expecting your husband to never sin or fail is unreasonable. Romans 3:23 reminds us that “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Holding him to an impossible standard sets you both up for frustration, blocking the grace that fuels intimacy.
Am I trusting him to honor our agreements? This is reasonable. Your marriage vows, boundaries about communication (e.g., no secretive friendships), and mutual commitments form the covenant’s framework. Trusting him to keep these promises is a foundation for closeness.
Am I trusting him to seek God’s will? As Christians, you’re called to pursue holiness together (Hebrews 10:24–25). Trusting your husband to pray, seek counsel, or lead with humility strengthens spiritual intimacy, even when he stumbles.
Am I trusting him to hear my pain? After a breach, you need assurance that he values your hurt and will work to rebuild. Trusting him to listen and act with empathy is a reasonable step toward emotional intimacy.
If you’re unsure what you’re trusting him for, take it to prayer. Psalm 139:23–24 invites God to “search me … and know my heart.” Journaling your expectations can clarify what feels broken and what trust looks like now.
When You Don't Know What You Need
Sometimes, the pain of betrayal leaves you numb, unable to answer your husband’s plea: “What can I do to make things right?” If you find yourself saying, “I don’t know,” you’re not alone. This uncertainty can feel like a roadblock, but it’s a chance to seek God’s wisdom and rebuild together. Here’s how you can move forward as a Christian couple, honoring the marriage covenant:
Acknowledge the Pain in Prayer. Start by bringing your confusion to God. Lamentations 3:22–23 assures us that His mercies are new every morning. Pray together, even if it’s awkward, asking God to reveal what trust and intimacy could look like now.
Seek Clarity Through Counseling. A Christian counselor can help you name what’s missing. They might ask, “What would make you feel safe?” or “What does trust mean to you?” These questions can uncover needs you hadn’t voiced, like transparency (e.g., sharing phone access) or consistent apologies.
Set Small, Specific Goals. If you don’t know what you need long-term, start small. Maybe you need your husband to check in daily about his feelings or join a men’s accountability group. These steps, rooted in 1 Corinthians 13:7’s call to “always protect, always trust,” can rebuild confidence.
Lean on Community. Share your struggle with a trusted mentor or women’s group. Galatians 6:2 encourages us to “carry each other’s burdens.” Others’ stories of restoration can spark ideas for what trust-building looks like.
Give Yourself Grace. Healing isn’t linear. You may feel peace one day and fear the next. Philippians 1:6 promises that God is completing a good work in you. Trust His timing, even when intimacy feels far off.
The Christian's Call to Endure
As followers of Jesus, we hold a high view of marriage as a covenant reflecting Christ’s love. While Scripture permits divorce in cases of adultery or abandonment (Matthew 19:9; 1 Corinthians 7:15), the call to endure for God’s glory often means persevering through pain. We work with many women who confess that despite their husband’s betrayal and abandonment, they do not feel the Lord has released them from their marriage. Yet, this doesn’t mean ignoring betrayal or suppressing hurt—it means trusting God to redeem what’s broken. Your efforts to rebuild trust honor Him, even when the outcome is uncertain.
Intimacy may feel out of reach today, but every step toward trust is a step toward God’s design for your marriage. Keep seeking Him, and let trust grow slowly, like a seed in fertile soil. As you and your husband pursue healing, may you find the intimacy that comes from a heart fully entrusted to God and, in time, to each other.
Reflection Question: What’s one small way your husband could rebuild trust this week? Share your thoughts with us at info@ashesredeemed.com!
Ask Ashes Redeemed
Ask Ashes Redeemed is our reader's opportunity. to have their anonymously submitted questions answered by our panel of experts.
Submit your question here.
“My husband betrayed my trust, and now he’s doing everything I’ve asked—going to counseling, being transparent, and trying to make things right. But I still don’t feel happy or at peace, and I can’t fully trust him. Am I broken, or is something wrong with me for feeling this way?”
Dear Reader,
You’re not broken for feeling this way. Betrayal shatters trust like a stone through a stained-glass window—beautiful pieces remain, but the whole feels irreparable. Even when a husband takes steps to rebuild, the journey to peace and trust is not a straight path. It’s a winding road, often paved with grief, fear, and questions about what’s next. Let’s walk through this together, leaning on God’s truth and wisdom.
First, know that your feelings don’t mean you’re failing. Healing after betrayal isn’t about flipping a switch to “happy” because your husband checks the right boxes. Trust is rebuilt through consistent actions over time, but your heart may need space to catch up. Psalm 34:18 reminds us, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” God sees your pain and is near, even when peace feels distant.
Your struggle to trust again may stem from unhealed wounds or unspoken fears. Perhaps you’re afraid of being hurt again, or maybe you’re grieving the marriage you thought you had. These emotions can linger, even when your husband is trying. It’s okay to feel unsettled—it’s a sign your heart is still processing. But you don’t have to stay stuck.
Similar to what we covered in this issue's Fidelity Focus article, here are a few more steps to help you stay rooted in your faith as you move toward rebuilding your trust:
Name Your Pain in Prayer. Bring your raw emotions to God. Write down what hurts—fear, anger, or sadness—and offer them up, trusting His promise in 1 Peter 5:7 to care for you. Ask Him to show you what’s blocking your peace.
Seek Safe Support. A Christian counselor or a trusted women’s group, like our Ashes Redeemed community, can help you process your feelings without judgment. Sharing with others who understand betrayal can lighten the load (Galatians 6:2).
Set Realistic Expectations for Trust. Trust isn’t an all-or-nothing switch. It’s okay to trust in small steps—like appreciating your husband’s honesty in one moment while still guarding your heart. Talk openly with him about what trust looks like right now, and pray together for patience (Colossians 3:12–13).
Examine Your Heart for Hidden Beliefs. Sometimes, we hold onto beliefs like “I’ll never be safe again” or “I’m not enough.” These can keep you from peace. Journal about what you believe about yourself, your husband, or your marriage, and measure those thoughts against God’s truth in Scriptures like Jeremiah 17:7–8, which speaks of trusting in the Lord.
Celebrate Small Victories. Notice moments when your husband’s actions align with his words, and thank God for them. These glimpses of faithfulness can be seeds of hope, reminding you of Philippians 1:6—that God is completing a good work in you both.
Remember, your peace isn’t tied to your husband’s perfection or your ability to “get over” the betrayal. It’s found in resting in God’s unchanging love while you heal. You’re not alone in this. Keep seeking Him, and let your heart mend at its own pace, knowing He’s holding you close.
With You in Prayer,
The Ashes Redeemed Team
Have a question about marriage or betrayal recovery? Submit your question anonymously here and we’ll offer faith-filled encouragement in a future column.
