“Shame on you!” 

I have heard this statement liberally and carelessly used in certain circles. The dignified tone of the speaker who favors this phrase speaks as if the words roll off their tongue with ease. It makes me wonder if they are “calling shame down” on the recipient of their indignation as if they would have the power to do so. Is the speaker’s statement being used to induce guilt, or are they attempting to label the recipient's value altogether? 

You see, there is a difference between guilt and shame. Guilt is feeling remorse for what we have done, whereas shame defines what we think others feel about us or what we feel about ourselves. 

Very often, the state of shame is where a person lingers when guilt is not absolved appropriately through the accepted forgiveness of Christ.

Wearing shame as if it is a garment is one of sin's most common side effects. Of course, when we measure ourselves to God’s standard, it is impossible to achieve the character that meets God’s definition of righteousness. However, when God wrote in His Word what it takes to achieve a morally acceptable state to enter Heaven, He already knew we would fail at trying. 

A question must be asked. 

Why would a teacher create a test that they knew every student would fail? It seems silly in the least and almost cruel in the most. Some people think of the Creator of the Universe similarly. This common linchpin way of thinking is where many people decide to “cash out” on the “God thing” altogether. Understandably, they do not want to serve a God that would purposely raise the standards too high for them to obtain. 

The thing is that these people, sadly, are entirely missing the point. God has purposely raised the “righteousness standard" to show us that there is no possible way we can meet what He requires of us. Yet, in that “not meeting” state, He does not shame us. Instead, He allows us to see what sin truly is, lets us feel repentant (or guilty) about the sin we have committed, and beckons us toward Him, knowing that we have become desperate for a savior to rescue us from guilt. This guilt is what can become shame if we choose to turn away from His gift of the cross. 

"...in Christ, God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting people's sins against them."

- 2 Corinthians 5:19

In His fatherly love, before we have even acknowledged that we ALL sin or all miss the mark, He sent His OWN son in our place to “meet the standards” for us, so that we may be reunited with Him and be called His children. The Bible even says that Jesus bore our shame, the very shame that would normally accompany an unrepentant committed sin. 

“… the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

- Hebrews 12:2–3

The length, breadth, and depth of shame that belonged to ALL of us was placed on the cross with Christ. There was a supernatural transaction the day Jesus Christ of Nazareth was scorned, berated, beaten (how a shameful person would be treated), and ultimately nailed to the cross to die a painful death, all to take the shame from you and me away forever. Praise GOD!

What does this mean practically to us today? 

To me, it means that I can write this knowing that I have betrayed people I have loved. I have lied to keep from hurting someone. I have lusted, been immoral, coveted, and cheated. I once made a terrible choice, even though I had another option, just to selfishly save myself and no one else. I can write this all, knowing that I have done all of these things, and some of you who know me know this too.

YET….

God says I should not feel shame, that I AM not shame, that HE TOOK MY SHAME. 

Only the love of Heavenly Father could do such a thing, and I will gladly exchange my shame for his righteousness.

My dear sister, you may possibly feel shame for what has happened in your marriage, or you may even wish shame upon your spouse for inviting you to feel that way. I ask you to consider where shame belongs and the most painful, loving act that made it so. 

One step at a time….

With Understanding,

Jennifer